Vatican Chooses To Not Stifle God’s Creative Freedom

May 15, 2008

In good news for extraterrestrial life everywhere, the Vatican Observatory has stated that the existence of such life is cool with the Vatican’s chief astronomer. And, in good news personally, apparently I won’t be condemned to burn in Hell if I choose to believe in the existence of aliens.

Then, within twenty-four hours, the British released over 1,000 pages of formerly secret UFO documents including documented sightings that didn’t take place following an evening at a pub. What gives with the sudden rush to embrace and accept out-of-towners?

Years ago, I had the “opportunity” to work with a band whose lead singer claimed to be an alien abductee. He and the bassist brought me into the circle of trust on this particular matter one evening over drinks. As it was at the height of The X-Files popularity, they expressed their concern that, a) they would be accused of shameless pandering and, b) they would be known as “that alien band.”

Outside of their company at the time, they had no reason for concern.

Of the many nuggets of information which they imparted to me, one item was that the government was biding its time, waiting for aliens to become commonplace in popular culture, to reveal the existence of extraterrestrials. This would ensure a seamless transition when the aliens started showing up in bars, grocery stores, and the cubicle next to you at work.

This summer, Paloma and I will be attending her family reunion where we’ll see her father and grandfather, both retired Air Force colonels. Let it be known to all, I intend to get answers (and, preferably, in a manner which will not alienate the family of the girl I love).

Personally, like Mulder, when it comes to the existence of alien life, “I want to believe.” And, in the words of a professor I had for an occult class, “It’s a big world. There’s a lot going on.”

As for the Vatican, they said that ruling out such extraterrestrial life would be “putting limits” on God’s creative freedom. I’m sure She’ll be relieved to know that She has been given the green light to run the universe as She sees best.

David Bowie – Loving The Alien
The album Tonight was hardly a high point for Mr. Bowie and, yet, I seem to recall it being greeted with decent reviews initially. However, Loving The Alien is always on any compilation of Bowie that I make. I also seem to recall that it was only available as a bonus track on the cassette release of Tonight.

Radiohead – Subterranean Homesick Alien
For several years, I was the head buyer for a very large record store, making me privy to advance releases on which I could pass judgment to my label reps. Sometimes, I was woefully far off, as when – despite being a big fan of their debut – I pronounced Oasis’ (What’s The Story) Morning Glory? as “too British” to succeed in the States. On the other hand, after one listen to Radiohead’s OK Computer, I deemed it to be “an instant classic.”

Milla – Alien Song (For Those Who Listen
One of the more pleasant surprises of the aforementioned gig was a 1994 album by supermodel/actress Milla Jovavich. It was hardly earth-shattering or groundbreaking, but a pleasant and dreamy affair nonetheless. Of course, Jovavich was in the movie Dazed And Confused, which included the character of Slater opining on aliens. She also played an otherworldly being in The Fifth Element. Perhaps we should be asking Milla what she knows about the subject.

Lamb – Alien