Pirates! Militant Islamists! Let’s Get Ready To Rumble!

November 24, 2008

A long time ago, Paloma and I would often declare ourselves to be pirates. I’m not sure why we would do so, but this nautical impulse would often kick in during a night on the town (though I don’t recall either of us drinking rum).

We never donned eye patches let alone left land, but Paloma could make a brilliantly entertaining ‘aargh” face. Actually, it more resembled an expression which Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) might make – highly amusing; not exactly threatening.

(if the ability to unleash amazingly comical expressions was considered to be threatening, Paloma would be deemed to be a supervillianess)

Anyhow, piracy on the high seas is a growth industry these days. Somali pirates have literally created boom towns in their homeland which is, from what I’ve read, a postcard for poverty and lawlessness.

Now, I’ve read that militant Islamists – being a prickly bunch in the best of times – are ticked. The pirates are totally stealing their thunder. And, seriously, if you were recruiting discontented, angry, poor youths, isn’t the promise of a life of wine, bawdy women, and song here, now a better hook than virgins in the afterlife once you’ve blown yourself to bits?

So, the Islamists are offering to take the pirates down. Does this match up cause a light bulb to flicker for anyone else?

Secure the rights, make it a reality show, put it on pay-per-view cable, do merchandising tie-ins with Burger King – mmmm, Burger King – have Vegas set a line…. Do something. Do anything.

There’s a treasure chest of loot to be made here and no need to risk life, limb, or ingest Dramamine.

Thomas Dolby – Europa And The Pirate Twins

Bow Wow Wow – Sun, Sea And Piracy

The Beautiful South- The Lure Of The Sea

Echo & The Bunnymen – Seven Seas

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