Maybe It’s All Just Performance Art

Sometimes, I take a couple days and don’t ingest as much news as I usually do. It’s good to take a break and, more often than not, everything – Iran, North Korea, the recession – is mostly where I left it.

Of course, I tune out for a couple days and suddenly there are beings called birthers ranting with near flawless incoherence on every channel.

One of them, Orly Taitz, seems to be popping up on news networks repeatedly. Apparently she is a dentist/real estate agent/attorney.

(and, with only a little more time in the make-up chair and just a slightly more insane glint in her eye, she might be able to add televangelist to her business card)

The birthers are convinced that Barack Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the US and, thus, ineligible to hold the office of the presidency.

I assume that he is a natural-born citizen. I have to, if only because – based on the unintentionally comedic interviews I have happened upon – I think it might be a bad idea to be in any club of which Orly Taitz is a member.

Then again, maybe the work of folks like Orly is quite intentionally comedic. Is it possible that Orly, the Octomom, and the all of the other, innumerable and bizarre half-wits that end up in the spotlight for a time before becoming trivia know exactly what they’re doing?

Might these entities and their ilk be the greatest performance artists of their time?

(sadly, they are not mimes)

As I watched Orly chatter on like some demented ballpark-giveaway bobble head brought to life under the spell of a very bad sorcerer, I mostly was pondering how much money this hand puppet was going to pocket – maybe through a book deal, on a lucrative lecture tour, or as a fact checker on an Oliver Stone flick.

She’s going to amass enough money in the next year to buy a helicopter.

It will take me decades to make enough money to buy a helicopter and, even then, it will probably be some used helicopter missing a rotor blade or two.

I think that I’d feel better if these folks were actually members of some comedy troupe a la Monty Python, consciously offering up their demented antics and absurd behavior as harmless entertainment.

But I think that they are all too real.

(and I’m still no closer to getting a helicopter)

Nonetheless, here’s some Foreigner for the birthers to enjoy…

Foreigner – Head Games
from Head Games

The title song from Foreigner’s third album is the first song by that band that I remember hearing as a current hit. It was a staple on the jukebox at the bowling alley (one of our hangouts before being old enough to drive) in ’79? ’80?

I remember thinking that it sounded very adult. It’s a solid and serviceable song, and that assessment makes me sound like my grandfather describing his work shed. So, while Head Games might not be groundbreaking, you’re ready to sing along by the second chorus.

Foreigner – Luanne
from Foreigner 4

No more than a month ago, I noted that Foreigner 4 is a fantastic, straight-ahead rock record. I posted Urgent, one of Foreigner’s finest moments, so I’ll opt for this engaging little gem.

Luanne seems less fussed over than most of Foreigner’s catalog (maybe it’s the song’s ’50s feel). It becomes the band. I don’t remember the song much on radio where I was living, but I did hear it on our family’s vacation in the summer of ’82.

Foreigner – Waiting For A Girl Like You
from Foreigner 4

Well, Foreigner had two monster ballads in the ’80s (I Want To Know What Love Is being the other). They’re both lovely songs and both were hits before things reached the point where every rock band had to have at least one slow song per album.

But, of the two, I’ve leaned toward Waiting For A Girl Like You for quite some time. It was a curveball when it came out in 1981 and it sounded like no other Foreigner song I had heard. It’s also aged well.

Foreigner – That Was Yesterday
from Agent Provocateur

Agent Provocateur was the first Foreigner album I ever purchased and the last new release of theirs that I would own (my taste in music was in a great period of transition when it came out in late 1984).

Endless airings on radio of I Want To Know What Love Is had burned me out on that song quickly, but I quite liked the keyboard-laden That Was Yesterday.

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6 Responses to Maybe It’s All Just Performance Art

  1. A. FlockOfSeagulls says:

    Sadly such xenophobic loons also exist in their droves in the land of Oz, and each day I pray for a house to fall from the sky and squash the bally lot of them. But alas the media networks invite them in from the fringe of civilised society to air their collective rants and raves to the plebs, many of whom soak it up with the absorbency (and intellect) of a sponge. As with the good ole U.S. of A., some of these twits get elected to public office – one of our longest serving members in the House of Reps is affectionately known as 'Iron Bar', for reasons that clearly reflect the literal implications of the name.

    And no, those of us here who are also sound of mind – or at least a reasonable fascimile thereof – don't own a helicopter either.

  2. jb says:

    The existence of don't-confuse-me-with-the-facts types like the Birthers are why I have been saying for years that it's a shame extreme stupidity doesn't cause physical pain.

  3. whiteray says:

    Indeed, one could describe each of the birthers as a "used helicopter missing a rotor blade or two."

  4. Perplexio says:

    Many logical conservatives (yes we exist) are quite dismissive of birthers in much the same way that many logical liberals are quite dismissive of truthers (those who claim the US government was behind 9/11/01).

    Well at least the lunative fringe on both ends of the political spectrum give those of us who are a bit more mainstream and/or moderate something to laugh at.

    I seem to recall a novelty song in the 80s titled “Me Brain Hurts.” I believe it was sung by some ex-Aussie Rules Footballer named Jacko or something like that. I think the same fellow rose to fame doing Energizer commercials before the Energizer Bunny made its big debut. Do you perchance remember that or is that memory merely a figment of my imagination? Either way that would ALMOST be an appropriate theme song for both the birthers on the far right and truthers on the far left. The trouble is that would be assuming such people HAVE functioning brains with a capacity for pain. For birthers and truthers such pain would be a “phantom pain” kind of like amputees who get aches, pains, and itches on their limbs that aren’t there any more.

  5. Perplexio says:

    I did a little research and found out a bit more about “Jacko” (real name Mark Jackson).

    The short-lived show he was on was called The Highywayman. But much like Russian comic, Yakov Smirinoff (remember him?)– when the 80s ended people apparently forgot about Jacko.

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